


We Are Our Secrets

by shell



Category: The Unusuals
Genre: 5+1 Things, Character Study, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 21:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5470721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shell/pseuds/shell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five people who learned Jason Walsh's greatest secret (plus some Jason learned)</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Are Our Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fanfic_nonnie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic_nonnie/gifts).



> I hope you like this, o Recipient!
> 
> Beta thanks to Lyrstzha, who did yeoman's duty despite not being familiar with the canon.

**1\. Eddie Alvarez**

When Eddie Alvarez first joined the Second, he saw it as a sure path towards the promotion he deserved. Compared to a bunch of screw-ups like these, how could he do anything but shine? He'd end up a lieutenant in five years, tops; Nicole was a genius for suggesting the transfer.

The entire squad was nuts, but Walsh and Kowalski were the worst of the offenders, if not exactly what he'd call screw-ups. They were pretty good at what they did, managing to close a lot of cases even if they spent most of their time pulling pranks and breaking every rule in the book. Eddie didn't know why IA wasn't all over them. He wanted to report them himself, but Nicole said it was best to wait and watch. "You don't want to get pegged as a snitch, honey," she told him. "You have to have something air-tight, and even then it's a risk." 

He'd been with the Second about a year when Bert Kowalski was killed. It was the first time he'd worked with a cop who was killed, and it threw him more than he'd expected. He'd been convinced he would catch the killer quickly and gain more brownie points with the brass, but it hadn't quite worked out that way. He tried to tell himself he would have solved it faster if Walsh hadn't sent him on that wild goose chase after a non-existent informant, but he knew it was his own fault for not catching on sooner. 

The first time he realized there was more to Walsh was the night after Kowalski was killed. He found Walsh's speech at the Apolo moving almost in spite of himself; he'd known Walsh had cared about his partner, but he'd never really realized how Walsh saw himself, saw all of them, as part of a shared history. A shared legacy, one that was almost as important as solving cases. 

So Walsh wasn't as bad as Eddie had thought. He even tried to help Eddie out, to bring him into the squad in a way Eddie had never considered. Nicole always told him he was there to put in his time before getting promotion, not to make friends. Eddie'd never had many friends in the first place, so he'd told himself it didn't matter that no one liked him. He'd never have considered helping another detective out the way Walsh took him under his wing. The unexpected kindness made him suspicious; he figured it was just a precursor to another prank. 

When he arrested Lewis Powell, he expected Walsh to hold it over him, to act superior and condescending. He deserved it, after arresting the wrong guy against the direct orders of his sergeant. But Walsh hadn't acted superior at all. He'd given Eddie a genuine complement, he'd talked to him about family, and he'd called Eddie his friend in the middle of a bunch of cops who'd just called Eddie a traitor. He'd even bought Eddie a beer. 

Eddie wasn't the type of guy that people bought beer for. 

Before they went to the bar, Eddie saw more of Walsh's kind side. Eddie had turned back to apologize to Powell--Eddie Alvarez was a big enough man to admit when he was wrong--only to hear Walsh talking to Powell in the kind of voice Eddie had only ever heard him use on kids. Eddie had stepped closer, curious, and heard Walsh tell Powell, the guy no one except Walsh gave a crap about, to get himself to a meeting, to call Walsh himself if he wanted a drink. Walsh didn't just put his job on the line for Powell--he had his back in every way that counted. 

That was something Eddie never would have thought to do. In a lot of ways, he realized, Jason Walsh was a better man than Eddie.

It took him a while longer to realize he wanted Walsh to like him. He wanted Walsh not just to tolerate him, to have his back as a cop, but to see him as a good person. Once he did, once he'd taken Walsh's advice (all of it) to heart, he put his political ambitions aside and finally focused on what was most important. Nicole was pissed for a while, but eventually he brought her around to his way of thinking, and when Eddie finally did get that promotion, he knew he'd earned it for the right reasons.

Jason Walsh was there at his promotion ceremony, bro-hugging him and telling him congratulations. Eddie didn't find out about the "Kick Me, I'm a Sergeant" sign on his back until halfway through the party. 

He framed it and hung it in his new office at the Seventh.

 

**2\. Henry Cole**

There were few certainties in this world. Certainties belonged to God; people made do with faith. When Navin found God and became Henry, he was certain he'd never stray again; he thought his faith was unshakeable. 

He was wrong. 

Jason Walsh, of all people, brought him back to the right path. Jason helped him accept what God had planned for him, and Henry would be grateful for the rest of his life.

Jason had been with the Second for a couple of years already when Henry made detective. Henry figured a few things out about him pretty quickly. Jason was profane, sinful, and prone to cutting corners, but he was also a good cop--smart, dedicated, tough but not jaded--and a decent man, despite his sins. Henry looked up to him more than any other detective, save Allison, even after Eddie Alvarez joined the squad. 

All of his co-workers were sinners. All of them were beloved by God; Henry loved them as best he could. He prayed for them each night. His first prayers were always for Amy, followed by prayers for the safety of his partner. After he'd finished beseeching the lord on Allison's behalf, he'd move on to the rest of the squad. He prayed that Eddie Alvarez would learn to love himself as Jesus loved him, that Banks and Delahoy would see the beauty in the world, and that Sergeant Brown would have the strength to lead them. 

Before his own sins led to Kowalski's death, he used to pray that Kowalski would see the light, that he'd discover the same kind of religious faith as Henry (as Navin) had. He'd pray that Walsh was never tempted to follow his partner into the kind of depravity and sin that his partner espoused. He'd pray that both of them stayed safe, that they protected as many innocents as they could. No matter how bad Kowalski was, Henry knew the man's heart was still (mostly) in the right place, and that Walsh was probably more responsible for keeping him on the side of the angels than he would ever know.

When Kowalski threatened to expose him, Henry prayed that God would take care of him. Then he made the biggest mistake of his life, calling Frank. After Kowalski died, Henry spent three months praying that Jason never told anyone what he knew, that no one would ever find out his role in Kowalski's death. He prayed that Frank would leave Jason alone. The fact that neither of these prayers were answered almost ( _almost)_ gave him a crisis of faith. Fortunately, the Lord continued to work in his own mysterious and blessed ways, and Henry remained free to contemplate the unforgiveable sins he'd committed. All because Jason Walsh loved Allison Beaumont and couldn't bear to cause her any more pain.

Henry was ashamed that it took another three months before he went to Sergeant Brown and confessed. Jason followed him inside the office and insisted on telling the sergeant about everything that had happened with Frank Lutz. Henry still didn't know how Brown had managed to keep Jason and Casey from anything worse than a month's suspension.

Jason told him why he hated hospitals the first time he came to visit Henry in prison. For the rest of his life, he prayed more for Jason than anyone but Amy.

**3\. Casey Shraeger**

"We are our secrets." 

That's what Walsh told Casey the first time she was in his diner. They'd known each other less than 24 hours, and she'd greeted his pronouncement with skepticism, but also with curiosity. She was pretty sure secrets were more likely to drive you nuts than the opposite, but she thought he might have something with the whole thing about _being_ your secrets. 

Later, after they'd been partners for six months, for a year, for a few years, she figured that learning what the other cops' secrets were--feeling safe enough to share your own-- _that_ was what kept you sane.

She learned a lot about Jason Walsh in the twenty years they were partners. At first, she only got little tidbits here and there. Like how he owned a diner but was a horrible cook. Like how he used to be a professional athlete. Like how he would do anything for his partner.

When Casey was a vice cop, she'd never had to chase anyone--which was a good thing, given the heels she'd been stuck in, not to mention the high potential for career-ending embarrassment, what with the micro-mini and the thong that was her standard uniform. Working in the Second, though, it seemed like they were chasing perps on foot at least once a week. The first time, she'd thought she was doing pretty well, but then Walsh had shoved her into a pile of garbage (fortunately _bagged_ garbage, but still) and taken off like some sort of Carl Lewis wannabe. Seriously, the guy was _fast;_ after that, she wondered exactly how good he could have been if he'd stuck with baseball. She lost track of the number of times he sprinted off after a perp and ended up tackling them like he'd played for the Giants rather than the Yankees. It was seriously impressive. 

It was also disturbingly hot. Yes, he was objectively attractive, if you liked the sort of thing that he had going on. His muscles had muscles; she'd gaped at him the first time she saw him shirtless. She frequently took in the way his ass flexed as he sprinted off ahead of her. It was a very nice ass, one of the best she'd ever seen. But he was her _partner;_ see: disturbing. Besides, he was short, barely taller than she was, and his nose was kind of big for his face, and he frequently looked like he wanted to murder someone. He really had no business being that hot.

So she pushed all of that away (even if she could maybe see why Beaumont liked the guy). But the athleticism and muscles came in handy more frequently than she would have thought (or than she appreciated, sometimes, because her standard "I'm the utility player who can do everything" spiel didn't really compare when it came to an _actual former professional baseball player)._

In any case, those were two lessons from her first week: he could run like a mo-fo, and he believed in the power of secrets. She'd _thought_ she'd learned something else--that he was a terrible cook--but it turned out to be a classic Jason Walsh misdirect. He'd eat anything, so he liked to mess with people (including his rare customers), but if he liked you, he'd mix up his special, from scratch pancake recipe or fry up a couple of perfect eggs and some bacon--usually with some added garnish to turn them into a smiley-face or something else to make you laugh--and serve it to you with some of the good coffee he saved for his friends. One night she'd dropped by after a huge blow-out with Davis, and he'd made her the best omelet she'd ever had. 

Speaking of Davis, he had made the mistake, early on, of telling her that he thought her partner was "a bit of an asshole." She'd laughed in his face. 

"That holds true for every cop I've ever met," she'd told him. " _I'm_ an asshole, Davis, come on! Compared to some of the people I've worked with, Jason's way low on the scale of dickishness. Alvarez, on the other hand…." She'd gone on to tell him about the time Walsh kept Alvarez running around all night searching for a non-existent informant, but Davis hadn't found it as funny as she did.

She'd mostly only met the brash, perp-chasing, asshole Walsh at that point, but she'd seen enough hints of the guy underneath to know that, whatever his secrets were, it would be worth waiting for him to trust her with them. She'd seen a different side of Walsh the night after his partner had been killed, when he'd stood up in that bar and talked about Kowalski's badge with a catch in his voice and red in his eyes. She'd figured right then that he was a guy she could trust to have her back, no matter what Sergeant Brown thought. 

Casey learned a lot more about him as the years went by--that he hated the opera but loved self-help books, that he could have gone back to the Yankees after his girlfriend died, that he actually liked poetry, and that he was messing with her when he pretended not to know what the periodic table was, that he was a hell of a lot smarter (not to mention more caring) than he presented to the world. Nothing that he told her, nothing that happened, ever led her to doubt him, even though he never did explain why his mom dressed him as a girl. No, Instead, Shraeger and Walsh's partnership became a bit of a legend, Casey stood up for Jason at his wedding, and she asked Jason and Allison to be godparents to her son.

**4\. Marvin Bechamel**

Marvin figured there weren't very many people Detective Walsh ever told about what he'd done when he was in the minors. Even Marvin knew that telling him was probably a mistake; it wasn't like he wouldn't give it away if anyone ever asked him about it. He wouldn't _mean _to, but he wouldn't be able to help himself.__

__Maybe it was something about _why_ the detective told him. It was the only thing he tried in his endless search for something to get Marvin on the straight and narrow that actually worked, at least for a while. Marvin made it nearly two years, scraping by on what little he made working as a dishwasher at the Apolo, until they fired him and he couldn't make his rent. He got in with the wrong crowd then somehow, the kind of men who actually _used_ the guns they brought in to that jeweler they'd staked out, and after a clerk got killed, Marvin went away for the rest of his life._ _

__It wasn't so bad; at least he didn't have to worry about how he was going to eat or where he was going to sleep anymore._ _

__No one ever asked, but Marvin liked to think that maybe he would have kept Detective Walsh's secret anyway. It wasn't like anyone else came to visit him in prison._ _

__**5\. Allison Beaumont** _ _

__The thing no one expected about Jason Walsh--Allison included, at least until she got to know him better--was how kind he could be. The sarcasm, the pranks, the dedication to his job, all of that was right there on the surface, along with his muscles (his muscles were a gift from the universe to all women and not a few men) and athleticism. Look at little closer, and you'd see exactly how good he was at his job, how much smarter he was than he appeared at first glance. It all added up to him pushing every one of Allison's buttons in exactly the right way._ _

__Including the ones she hadn't even known she had._ _

__The first time they had sex, Jason surprised her by throwing her onto the bed and holding her down. Now, before this, it wasn't like Allison hadn't had much sex. She'd had sex. She'd had _good_ sex--or so she thought. But she'd mostly been the one who'd initiated, who'd taken charge. She'd _thought_ that was what she _liked.__ _

__What she learned from that first wild ride with Jason (he was still Walsh when they started, but he was definitely Jason by the time she woke up the next morning, sore in all the best ways) was that there was a big difference between sex that was merely good and sex with Jason Walsh. Also, apparently she liked getting bossed around in bed. She liked it a _lot.__ _

__If that had been all there was to being with him, she figured she would have gotten it out of her system eventually and moved on. But there was that kindness. He loaned her his grandfather's watch, okay--but he would have let her keep using it, even after he knew how she'd almost lost it. Once he found out exactly why she'd been in that pawn shop in the first place, he invited her to move in without a second's hesitation. He made it clear he would sleep on the sofa if it would make her comfortable, said it was temporary, only until she got back on her feet. When she still wasn't sure it was a good idea, he loaned her the money she needed to make her rent._ _

__She moved in a month later. And she paid him back, every cent._ _

__He gave Marvin money every time he got picked up--and Marvin got picked up about once a week._ _

__He made a real effort to loosen Alvarez up--and he succeeded._ _

__He helped Lewis Powell when no one else would._ _

__He taught Casey Shraeger everything he knew about being a good detective._ _

__And he came to see her in the hospital, even when it terrified him._ _

__***  
"I can't be your boyfriend," he told her when she got out of the hospital. "I can't be anyone's boyfriend. Bad things happen when I'm someone's boyfriend. Okay?"_ _

__"Okay," she said, squeezing his hand. "For the record, I'm glad you're my man."_ _

__"Me too," he said. He was smiling that shy smile she was already half in love with, and she couldn't stop herself from putting her arms around him and kissing him, even though it pulled at her stitches._ _

__She eventually got the full story of his relationship with the woman he'd lost, Claire Solanos, but she got it in bits and pieces, most of them shared in the dark as he held her._ _

__The diner had been Claire's dream, financed by the money he'd gotten for throwing three games plus the bonus he'd gotten when he was called up to the majors. It was in both their names, and her parents insisted he keep it after she died._ _

__"Thought about selling it every day for a year," he told her one night as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Hired a cook once, but it didn't work out."_ _

__"So you started cooking," she said._ _

__"Yeah," he said, kissing her forehead before reaching over to turn out the light._ _

__That was the week he told her he loved her for the first time. It was also the week he sold the engagement ring he'd bought for Claire._ _

__He waited another two months before he bought one for her._ _

__

__**+1: Jason Walsh** _ _

__People liked telling Jason their secrets. It was weird up until he became a cop; after that, it was useful. When he made detective, that was his job: find bad guys and get them to tell you their secrets._ _

__It wasn't just bad guys who told him stuff, though. Kowalski told him more than Jason wanted to know--although he never told Jason about the files he'd kept on all of them, which Jason would have appreciated a hell of a lot more than hearing about Kowalski's sexual escapades. Maybe it would have been better not to learn about Cole and Frank Lutz, although it would have been nice to know who torched that storage locker._ _

__The name "Navin Granger" hadn't meant anything at first; Jason found out about most of Cole's secrets on his own. He found he liked Cole a lot better once he knew the truth, and he learned more about Cole--about Navin--as time went by. The first time Jason went to visit him in prison, they sat at a picnic table outside--Jason thanked Navin's God that they'd been able to get him into minimum security, under his real name, so no one knew he'd been a cop--and Navin told him about growing up in foster homes in small-town east Texas. By the time he was released two years later, Navin wasn't just Allison's former partner, he was one of Jason's closest friends._ _

__Eddie Alvarez probably told Casey more secrets than he told Jason, but that was okay. Jason liked seeing the way the guy mellowed out, starting with what he'd never openly admit was the greatest prank anyone ever played on him and ending up a captain Jason actually respected. Eddie Alvarez turned out to be not just a good cop, but good police._ _

__Casey, now. Every time he thought he knew all of her secrets, she'd come up with another one. Why she'd been expelled from six boarding schools (everything from refusing to adhere to the dress code to lighting the headmaster's car on fire when he'd expelled a friend of hers). That she cried at weddings (he'd seen that first hand at his own). That she was bisexual (he would never admit that he found the idea of her and Nicole making out hot, not on pain of death)._ _

__She told him one night a few weeks after the Margot Stanford case that she'd been assaulted her first semester at Harvard. No wonder she'd identified with Margot so much._ _

__***  
Allie was the one he could tell his secrets, _all_ his secrets, but she told him hers as well. He wasn't surprised when he found out her dad had been a cop, and once she told him she was adopted, running away for six days to try to find her birth-mother made perfect sense. Next to some of the things he'd done, her problems with money were small potatoes, but that didn't mean he wasn't relieved when she let him help. _ _

__That she loved him, well. That was a surprise. Casey said it shouldn't have been, that it was clear to everyone in the precinct that the two of them were "perfect together--like, made for each other, but don't you dare tell anyone else I said that."_ _

__"Hey, as long as you don't tell Davis what I said the other night at the bar," he said._ _

__"What, that you thought the two of us should get married and crank out a couple kids? I texted him that while you were in the bathroom, Walsh," Casey said, hiding a grin behind her coffee mug._ _

__"This is why I hate being partners with you," he said, pointing at her and scowling._ _

__"No you don't." She looked at him with that smug smile she usually saved for perps she'd gotten to confess._ _

__"You're right, I don't," he admitted. "But don't tell anyone that, either."_ _

__"No promises, but I do promise to act surprised when you propose."_ _

__"Just for that, I'm gonna refuse to be your best man when you ask me," Jason said, smirking at her._ _

__"Who says I'm gonna need a best man?" she asked, eyebrows raised. "I promised my best friend in junior high that she'd be my maid of honor."_ _

__"If you two would quit your bickering, there's a body over on Houston Street that's awaiting your arrival, detectives," Sergeant Brown said, pointing out the door._ _

__Jason put the conversation out of his mind until Davis called three weeks later and asked him to lunch at a café that was definitely _not_ the kind of restaurant frequented by cops. They were halfway through their meal when Davis blurted out, "What kind of ring should I buy for Casey?"_ _

__"What?" he'd said, because, seriously, what? He already knew he'd be shopping for a ring for Allison at some point, but still, this was a secret he wanted no part of._ _

__The two of them ended up shopping together, which was all kinds of awkward, especially when the people helping them kept assuming they were shopping for rings for _each other._ _ _

__By their third jewelry store, Jason had given up correcting them._ _

__***  
The best secret that anyone ever told Jason happened three and a half years into his marriage. Everyone found out about it eventually, but for six weeks, he and Allie were the only ones who knew about the baby._ _

__They named her Louisa Casey Walsh, and she grew up to be a cop, just like her parents and her godmother._ _

__END_ _

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me either at [my fannish tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/shellumbo) or [my pro writing tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sbyzmcpherson). Or you can follow either on Twitter: @shellumbo or @sbyzmcpherson. Or both!


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